finding friends

Thus far, I have found two people who I feel comfortable identifying as my friends, or who at least I hope to become friends with in the future: Mike from ASU, who is crazy smart and works with autistic children, and whose long-term girlfriend is into screenwriting (hey!), and Geraldine, a native Virginian possessing of a cynical rather than Southern or Eastern drawl and a pair of reflective, wraparound silver prescription shades.

Geraldine neither actively engages in nor avoids all the nicey small talk, and she wears sensible suits and no jewelry but completely rad shoes, and she identifies people she likes as “weird kids.” I won her over with the “Guess the contents of this here boxed lunch” game, which culminated in my identifying walnuts in a cookie and dropping it like it had burned me, shrieking “AGH! DEATH COOKIE!” She ate it, and said she particularly enjoyed the Death.

Mike is bizarre. We’ll be driving along in a car full of people, and out of nowhere, he’ll say things like, “So shouldn’t the punishment be the same for murder and attempted murder? Why should you get a break just because you’re really bad at it?” He’ll riff with me extensively, and while he appears to take diligent notes, on closer inspection they are the lyrics to “Baby Got Back.” Both Mike and Geraldine are super-mean in a way that tells me they care so much more than people who fake niceness. They also both have beer in their rooms, with Mike having rigged up the classic “trash can + liner + ice = cooler” setup.

These are important things to consider when you are choosing your friends.