Today: Frustration Post!
Normally, things at my high school are pretty smooth sailing. Things get done, you know where you're supposed to be, and you more or less know who to talk to if you have a problem. Today, though, I am pretty miffed at the relationship between my school and The Program. It's just a mess. Three lovely examples, all from the last eight hours, of incredibly poor communication between the two:
First off, last Friday we were all "offered the chance" to buy t-shirts from my high school, meaning that we pretty much had to. Fortunately, the t-shirts were awesome: a yellow/black on baby-blue vintage athletic design that I would have picked up off a store shelf in a heartbeat, and all for the low low price of $8. Great, I said, and all weekend I collected singles and a five so that I would have exact change, and first thing Monday morning I walked in and pre-paid for my shirt. I was about the eighth person on the list, and I ordered a small. The t-shirts got here today...but they were not the same t-shirts. They looked like boring, rejected $3 Old Navy t-shirts. No style whatsoever. The Program told us that there were no L or XL in the cool shirts, and only about half enough S and M, but that they made sure that everyone in our group got the same shirt! Wasn't that great of them? How they didn't check what they had in stock before they told 200 of us to buy shirts, and then didn't respect the time-honored process of first come, first served?
That is offense number one.
Now, I marched right back to the office and returned this t-shirt, as I did not give them $8 to give me something that I did not ask for and will never in a million years wear. As it turns out, it doesn't especially matter that I returned this t-shirt, because the intention was to have us all wear them this Friday when we did our big community service project. Last Friday (at the very same meeting where they promised us the awesome t-shirts,) when they told us about this project and had us brainstorm things we could do for the school and its surrounding community, we assumed that this had been run by the school. Not the case. So today - which is Wednesday, for those keeping score - we got this memo saying that Oh, we ran the whole "community service" thing by the principal, and he's dead-set against it. So, sorry that we went about the whole thing backwards and wasted everyone's Friday afternoon and will now be wasting another one. Except without the "sorry" part.
That is offense number two.
Then, midway through the afternoon, we found out that preliminary final grades are due first thing Monday morning. The Program says they only found out this morning. So now we are all scrambling to change our deadlines and make this work for the kids without undermining what we've been saying or killing ourselves with grading.
You would think that's the kind of thing The Program would have asked, now wouldn't you.
So, three strikes, and all in one day.
On another, slightly less bitter note: the lovely Miss Amelie, formerly of the BLing department and now of the prestigious South Dakota corps, has suggested that The Program has more or less pre-printed its feedback forms to say "Wow! So positive and assertive!" I hold that this is in no way the case. We have some effed-up teachers at my school. They're getting better, but they're also getting walked over. Please refer to yesterday's post for a running comment-debate.
Also, my feedback is awesome, and I do not completely suck at this. Just in case that was in some way unclear.
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10 comments:
First thing:
Jasmine, I never, ever doubted your positive and assertive tone. I just wondered if TFA would know positive and assertive tone if it buggered them in the ass. You have evidence that they would, and I am relieved because I can now believe that they actually might have noticed me do something right.
Second thing:
That T-shirt situation sucks. I am glad that you returned it. They need to know that their miscommunication affects people.
Third thing:
Something like offense number three happened to me (only in my case, I was partially to blame). While it is horrible that all of these things happened so close together for you, it never ceases to amaze me just how organized The Program (usually) is.
I don't want to give you any advice or talk about my experience because I recognize the who the hell am I factor, but:
*Things get better after Institute
*My opinion of The Program has dramatically improved since leaving Houston
*I realize that getting accepted into TFA was one of the best things that has ever happened to me
It's so funny - I'm SO not anti-Program, and I'm aware that sometimes I come off that way. Yesterday was so frustrating precisely because that's the kind of petty nonsense I really don't expect from them.
A brief related anecdote:
We have a big "shout outs" board in the hallway of my dorm, mostly girls saying that other girls are Super Awesome! but some other stuff too. The other day I go out there and there's a huge scrawl of TFA SUCKS! So I pick up the pen and write, "Yeah. All that feeding us, and housing us, and training us, and finding us jobs..."
So it goes unnoticed for a few days and then I come back after the weekend, and there is an even bigger scrawl with an arrow pointing to my note and it says BIG BROTHER.
Awesome.
It seems like we are dividing out, though, into those who are determined to hate the system and those who are like, "deal with it" (plus the occasional "WTF is up with my lack of tshirt" blog rant.) Today, for instance, I noticed some additional comments around - things like "Yeah? Then go home."
Way to get my back.
Also, today was my full observation day and I witnessed the least assertive TFAer ever. It was super-righteous. In the space of ten minutes, I heard, from the back of the classroom, the following terms:
"...as fuck"
"gay"
"retarded"
"pimp/pimp-slap"
"bullshit"
...ALL FROM THE SAME STUDENT.
The teacher's response: ignored both "gay" and "retarded" and the ensuing laughter from the classroom. Asked the student politely to be "more classroom appropriate," per "as fuck," and was ignored. Two offenses later, the teacher asked the student to move to another seat. What that was supposed to accomplish, we may never know, because the student did not comply, but rather put his head back down on his desk and responded that it was a "bullshit-ass class."
Delta, delta, delta....
Oh man... I would never call you anti-Program... not in the least! Not to be a martyr or anything, but I'm pretty sure Houston is the shittiest of Institutes. Because of this, we were all pretty anti-TFA. For God's sake, the conditions were unlivable. The food was disgusting, and if you were vegan or vegetarian you could forget about eating all together. The rooms were air-conditioned like you wouldn't believe and every night I woke up shivering. I have never been as cold as the summer I spent in Houston. I mean, I CHOSE to wear panty hose just to keep warm. And, to top it all off, there was a raw sewage leak ON MY FLOOR which never got cleaned up, so it smelled like shit the whole five weeks. I am not kidding. I got so sick of people from other floors asking what that smell was that I eventually just said, "What do you think it is? If you had to guess, what does it smell like most?"
The highlight of my day, other than teaching, was the french fries. The pale, undercooked, nasty-ass fries.
Did you see that video about inclusive classrooms? The one where the kids describe (was it Byron?) as gay and having a club foot?
I'll stay assertive, but positive will be out the window if I ever hear a kid use a word like "retarded" or "gay" in that way. Geez, I worry though because I had to correct a few CMs when I heard them say "retarded."
The "Big Brother" thing would be annoying, but I have to admit I laughed.
I lost a friend over a shout-out.
At the time, it was dramatic. Now it just seems funny.
I love being Big Brother. I mean, come on now. The Program is actually trying to slowly starve me to death. Would it make sense for me to brainwash others into blind love?
If it was, I would have a much better strategy than leaving snarky comments on the Shout Out board.
The whole thing has basically been another way to figure out who on the floor should be my friend. The process goes like this: Tell story. Observe. If subject cracks up, pursue friendship. If subject laughs politely, ignore. If subject remains silent and/or icy, destroy with extreme prejudice.
We are sadly lacking for drama around here. During induction people were hooking up but now we're just too busy, so all we talk about is who is getting CMAP'd and who has left. Speculating on our numbers is huge.
Did I ever tell you that 3 out of the 12 people in my CMA group left? That seemed really high. I think the only people who left from my school were all part of my group.
With 18 people, I can't really ignore anyone. Good thing I like them all. They are all pretty unique, too, so I guess we balance each other.
I love speculating about who is going to leave. Did you know that they give people who leave an exit slip? It is more of a survey, but I found that hilarious. Chris used to guess who from the South Dakota Corps would be the first to leave. So far the only person who has quit is Chris and, barring a major tantrum from one of the hot-tempered people, I don't really see anyone else quiting.
Right now I'm looking at posters of authors online. I want the Sherman Alexie one because he is sporting a mullet, but it has some "Voices of Diversity" crap across the front. So does the Toni Morrison one. Save that shit for writers that aren't very good, like Maya Angelou (and some of Louise Erdrich's books).
Also, I'm not totally convinced that Jewish counts as diversity (Elie Wiesel)... Maybe if the person was also a woman? Then it would be like .5 + .5 = 1 diverse person.
After my experience in Houston, I never want to look at Sandra Cisneros again. Those poor kids. Everytime you give them something to read, they were like, "Is this about Esperanza? We always have to read about Esperanza. Can we read something else?" For some reason, my kids were really into Chinese people, so we read Amy Tan.
I also crappily recited a poem by Ruben Dario to them in Spanish. My boy student was actually impressed (not by my Spanish, obviously, but by the poem). Later I learned that this violated Texas state law. No Spanish in classrooms past six grade. Scary.
Are there a lot of Cal people in the LA Corps? I only met one other Cal person in Houston. He was going to Rio.
By the way, I never responded to the post about your job, but congratulations! Teaching ESL will be so rewarding, plus you aren't tied to any particular genre and will probably have a lot of freedom in choosing materials.
I had my first freak out moment in Orientation, when I learned that I might possibly have to teach senior British/Irish lit. I hate British lit. All of it. You know how I feel about Tess of the D'Urbervilles. And I never took a class in it. I chose Women's lit instead. If this happens, we will read Shakespeare, Wilde, Beckett, and maybe Orwell. I will also be pissed. Maybe I'll add A Modest Proposal and we'll have ourselves an entire tragicomedic (I hate that word, if it is one) party.
I would have a lot of freedom...if ESL in The District didn't use scripted programs. I will be using High Point. Fortunately, we are encouraged to adapt this curriculum, and to change and add readings. My kids are going to be reading just about every second of the day. My motto: if they're not sick of it, they haven't learned it.
The Spanish situation here is pretty shady too. I actually need to find out what I'm legally able to do and what I shouldn't even attempt.
Per Cal people: there are 6 of us in the LA corps, and several more at institute, as we have Bay Area here. Most of them are nice, but I immediately liked one girl the best. We were up in Mike's room at induction, drinking some beers and lounging, and she goes, "I don't know why I'm supposed to be all buddy-buddy with the Cal girls here. It's not like we would have been best friends in Berkeley."
Amen, sister.
Yeah, I'm going the reading route, too. I'm thinking about doing the book bins thing (did you see that video?). It would take a lot of planning, though, because I want to do binders with (shudder) graphic organizers and stuff so I know that they are doing the reading and comprehending it. Too bad it will probably take all the fun out of it.
See, I was desperate to talk to anyone from the West Coast. Well, no one from Southern California, but you know what I mean. Sometimes I liked laughing at the Ivy League tools, but mostly I just found them annoying.
Who came up with the thought that it was ok to match a pink shirt with a pink tie? And why did this unlikely pairing become all the rage at the Houston '05 Institute?
Some guy from Harvard even called me a hipster. I was like, "Buddy, you have no idea..."
Oh, no. All the hipsters are out here, particularly the male ones. Our guys know that while lavender-on-lavender is appropriate, pink-on-pink never is. Colors like bubblegum and chiffon green are always toned down with something tasteful but striking and unexpected.
I don't know what Houston's demographics were like, but we have a proportionally huge number of gay men. Not to stereotype, but in combination with the high proportion of hip straight guys, this makes for a whole lot of colorful shirts (and fitted slacks.) It confuses the hell out of some of our kids, whose own taste runs either to the punk side (Atticus t-shirts, skinny black pants that don't quite reach the ankle) or the street side (baggy/saggy jeans, extra-tall basketball t-shirts that don't quite reach the ankle.) This makes for some high comedy.
Por ejemplo: Last week, not one but three separate guys in my CS session wore shocking, cherry-red button-downs. One of them, Mr. M, said that a student approached him and said, "Why are you wearing red?"
The teacher froze for a moment. My school is a blue school, and while we rarely see much evidence of the gang issue, it is most definitely there. Quite apart from that, Mr. M has five earrings, spiky, bleachy orange hair, and a mild affect that might also have opened up a separate issue for discussion. The question was a potential minefield. So, Mr. M proceeded with caution, responding simply, "Because I like it. And it was clean."
The student responded with incredulity. "You just had that? Hanging in your closet?" The teacher nodded.
"Man," said the student. "You look like a broadway dancer. Or a skinny version of the Kool-Aid man."
The best part was when Mr. M told us this story in CS session. "Thank God he said a skinner version," he told us, "or I would have had to go into the hallway to cry."
Also...what is up with all the Sandra Cisneros? It is like she has personally given every single person employed by The Program five bucks and a foot massage. She is the best person that has ever lived. We should really stop teaching English and start teaching Sandra Cisneros.
Fun fact: the only high school-level books we have in the resource room are these ridiculous serials about The American Experience (can you say Diversity?) and ONE copy of "The House on Mango Street." We were trying to use a passage from it to talk about tenses, because she often writes in the simple present (which I'm sure you've realized is pretty unnatural and hard to find,) but we came upon a separate issue: woman has never written a single complete sentence. I respect her very much as a writer, and it's a great, realistic technique, and many of my kids can relate to her voice and experiences, but we must all take a deep breath and realize that our students, every once in awhile, should read a sentence that has both a verb and an overtly expressed subject.
I am compiling a list of truly diverse readers I'd like to have in my classroom, because (as I often point out to my fellow CMs) one Mexican woman does not diversity make. She's on the list, of course, but so are Gary Soto, Sherman Alexie, Lorraine Hansbury, Zora Neale Hurston, and (sorry) Maxine Hong Kingston. Loads of white authors too - I hate that they're often sort of discounted. My students need to learn that race isn't the only way we can relate to other people. Anyway, it's a very long list and I intend to keep adding to it.
Grudgingly, I may have to admit Maya Angelou into my classroom. But I am trying to get around it.
I don't know about the book bin. Maybe we haven't gotten there yet. At the moment I'm just thinking about some kind of in-class library, a small shelf and a check-out sheet. Better ideas?
Also, if people have used books that are classroom-appropriate and engaging for teens (or accessible to English language learners), I have a mailing address for you.
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