new indignities, haircuts

So I went off-track a couple of weeks ago; around the beginning of the month, I guess. I've been subbing a couple of days a week for trusted friends with lesson plans, knitting a lot, and bumming around since then. Here I distill the last month or so into several points of interest:

BOLT CUTTERS! My classroom was broken into, three days before the end of the mester. They took my new printer, then went through the connecting door to my friend's classroom and took her new printer, her old iBook, and two LCD projectors. (They also took DVDs of Scarface and Fahrenheit 9-11, but left Hamlet, Indiana Jones, and a few others.) How did they get in, you ask? Why, the very same way the broke into this same room back in June! They used bolt cutters to snip through the heavy-duty metal screen over my windows, reached in, popped the emergency release, and then forced the window. It could have been much worse, as there was no vandalism. In fact, they were (relatively) very polite, stacking the materials that used to live on top of my printer neatly, with the larger books on the bottom all the way up to smaller note pads and things up on top.

MORE BOLT CUTTERS! The very next weekend, two days after I had vacated the classroom, it was broken into again. This time, they entered by snipping Riley's window screen, though they could have saved themselves some work and gone through my as-yet-unrepaired window once more. This time there was nothing left to steal, apart from various markers and batteries, so they busied themselves by throwing books and papers all over the room and tagging all the tables in marker and the glitter paint I keep for art projects. From this experience we have learned a number of things indirectly: that our campus cops are totally inept, that rooms at our school are broken into every single weekend, and that The District has told us that instead of the 28 security cameras they have been promising us for years, we will instead be recieving five (5) security cameras, at some as-yet-undetermined date in the future. I can't even laugh at the ridiculousness of this number as I don't think I will live to see the day. It just took several years - my guess is five - to complete the building of new bleachers, for crying out loud. The PA system has been "in the works" since I started, and someday we're supposed to be getting phones in the classrooms, too, and then and then and then... No. No, I will not only no longer be working at my school when we get these things, but I will in all likelihood no longer be breathing.

FLEAS! I was subbing for my friend Jackie the other days and maintenance came in to talk to me about the Flea Problem. I was like "Oh, is that where these bites on my arm are coming from?" I mentioned it to Riley, who used to teach in those bungalows, as they are uncarpeted and I did not know where the fleas could be living. Her response: "Probably on the dozens of feral cats living underneath them."

THE PROGRAM! It sucks this year, and seriously, no one should ever join it again. It's strayed so far from its ideals that it has no idea what it's doing anymore. Despite all this, I may be going to the Desert Mini-Conference in Vegas in November, mostly to roll out to Vegas with my crew, and to see the lovely Miss Amelie.

YOUTUBE! Seriously, being off-track and not having an existential crisis is awesome. I am all caught up on several seasons' worth of terrible television (ANTM, Pimp My Ride) and have become obsessed - OB.SESSED. - with Demetri Martin.

HAIRCUT! I was all, ugh, look at all this hair. I felt middle-aged and kind of blockish, like my head was made out of Duplo or something. So I marched up to Ye Olde Hipster Barber Shop and managed to get the stylist who is not only from my hometown, but who used to date this kid a year beneath me who I was totally convinced was gay all through high school. (I'm not sure my mind is changed by this experience.) We badmouthed Salinas for awhile and I admired her little bumblebee tattoos, and it was altogether an enjoyable experience. Anyway I look loads better now.


MAKIN' STUFF! I made a cover for my lappy, which I love, despite the fact that I had already started making it when I realized it has APPLES all over it. AUGH. I just think they're really cute, is all. Also, I made this belt the other day. It is crazy long and I might have to change that, but I still think it's super cute.




THE MAJOR! He is the king.